Currently 25 and I’ve been through 3 major weight loss transformations, and counting the yoyo weight I’ve lost around 100kgs (220lbs).
I always let my weight dictate my mood and what I should wear and how I should feel. It made me much more closeted and feel unwanted, especially sexually. It made me too nervous to date and sexually explore and would hinder friendships cuz I felt different.
I’m now 68kgs (149lbs), the lightest I’ve been since I was probably 12. I’m in a fantastic relationship, and I can even fit into my partners pants comfortably who have been thin their entire lives but I can’t help but feel detached. Hearing their stories about when they were in their twenties (they’re 5 years older than me) I feel this sort of envy, like I wanted all that sexual exploration and adventure for myself but I didn’t let myself do it.
Looking in the mirror doesn’t fill me with great confidence and I’m probably at my worst with body dysmorphia. Still have fat in inconvenient locations with stretch marks to boot. Feels like I’m forever scared by my weight which saps any confidence I could have.
This is more a rant than anything but wondered if anyone else had similar experiences with this where even with great change it feels like you’re still the same, filled with regret about the past?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/YeMd4SJ
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