I had my weight loss journey a few years ago where I lost close to 50kg over about a year, and it felt amazing. Everything was easier, both literally and figuratively.
It really helped that I had a fairly active day job, and was able to bike to and from work, so my maintenance period felt okay.
Fast forward to right now things feel very different. I eat more than before. I eat more often than before. I'm back to snacking, eating candy alone, and sneak eating candy even though I know I shouldn't. I really feel like I'm losing control several times per day, and just eat and eat.
I weighted myself today as well and I am now up to 94kg. 10-12kg more than I was a year ago, and it hurts.
A part of me want to excuse this on account of having two active kids which drain me of energy, a full time work as a teacher and also studying for my master's degree.
But those feel like empty excuses. I hate how much I'm eating. I hate how little I'm exercising. And most of all, I hate how I'm losing control.
Today I started writing my journal again which helped a lot during my last slight setback, but I am still afraid that my motivation will falter when I'm hungry, or when we're traveling to relatives for Easter and candy will be plentiful.
Something that really helped me last time was writing a log of what I'm eating in a day, and also knowing that I would be showing it to other people. I had a counselor which met with me every other week. I really miss having that. I have asked my sister and my wife to read my log so that I'm accountable, but they really weren't comfortable with reading it based on their own history of struggling with weight loss and food.
I find my thoughts always finding excuses to eat candy, and a whole lot of promises of "a little bit is okay" and "we're stopping after Easter" or "after winter" but there is always another reason to have snacks and candy. This has been going on since before Christmas when I realized how my suit was way to tight.
So all in all, I feel really bummed out. This morning has been good, in regards to food and snacking, but the hard part seems to continue doing good.
Thanks for reading my thoughts and worries :) Any advice is appreciated, and I already feel better having written this down somewhere people can read it.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/tYpiCde
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