Monday, April 3, 2023

End Emotional Eating?

I've been on a constant fight against myself to lose fat from the start of middle school to present day highschool senior. I've come a long way from researching on how stuff works watching videos and looking at many tips. So I'm already quite knowledgeable on how to lose fat, but I haven't been able to and now I have completely stopped from my journey. I want to go back. I want to actually lose this fat that I hate with every fiber of my being.

I'm an 18yr old male, I am 6'1 and currently weigh 230. ( Lowest weight ever was 215/220)

I will be very honest, I love eating. If I stop eating I feel depressed. Although I'm full aware it's my fault that I'm unable to make sacrifices, it hurts. It mentally hurts maybe even physically, to the point where I breathe heavier and have an urge to tear through my face. Whenever someone offers me food I can't help but to not say no. It's driving me crazy. The days I accidentally eat too much I just cheat because I feel extremely defeated and say I will try the next day, and then say I will try the next week and then so on. I probably have some actual problem with myself because I do hurt myself ( mostly punching myself in the face or stomach or extreme thought of cutting off the fat) when I eat too much and usually happens when I binge after accidentally overeating. I also noticed that when I'm in my weight loss journey I become unable to socialize as I get more awkward and nervous but get more confident and charismatic when I'm not.

Intermittent fasting has helped the most (although eating at a calorie deficit would probably give me the best results, it usually overwhelms me and I binge). I don't feel any hunger until 1PM but I usually go until it's time to eat lunch which is usually 4PM. The biggest issue though is school. At school we eat at somewhere around at 11AM and my god I feel hungry. My friends eating around me the vending machine's chips are calling out to me I've only went 3 times successfully without eating at school. I eventually caved in and ate the chicken sandwich.

All I'm asking for is advice or just your experiences and how you overcame them. Don't care if the advice is harsh or straight up simple about something I already know. Perhaps people getting mad at me giving me lectures will help me. Idk I just want to be confident in my own skin and finally stop the number 1 problem (imo) in my life.

Note: I do workout at the gym mostly on weights, but I keep getting sick and injured (not from the gym). I try to do some cardio I even want to run outside but it's also another huge mental barrier even though i was consistent back then, I got extremely sick and stopped doing cardio.

Sorry for vent-ish?

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