Hey y’all,
I am sure there are plenty of others that have experienced this and this post is just for general support/relatability to not feel so alone. I’ve been dealing with a lot of body dysmorphia lately and not sure how to go about the obsession with how I look and how I am perceived by others.
For context, I am 23 yr old female, 5’1, and now weigh about 110 lbs. Last year during this time I was about 160-170 lbs. I didn’t really start feeling insecure about my weight until getting into a fairly shitty relationship and started the long process of trying to look better for other people, not even really myself.
At the beginning of this year I was about 125-130 lbs, so a fairly healthy weight for someone my height and age, which was my initial goal weight when first starting the weight loss journey. Then that’s when I started dramatically losing a lot of weight in the past couple of months and lost the rest of those 15-20 lbs to the weight I am out now in a very unhealthy way. And the obsession with how I look and the insecurities really kicked into gear then. Almost everyday I record myself just standing in different positions, particularly to see how my stomach looks from the side, how big my waist looks from the front, etc. Many people now make comments about how “skinny” I look and it just feeds into the obsession. Because for me, although I logically can acknowledge the thinness, I still mentally see the body I had from last year. Looking at old photos of myself can disgust me sometimes too because I can’t fathom that that is what I looked like, it makes me sad, and almost embarrassed to have looked like that.
Still, I am trying to lose weight. I technically am still in the healthy range but my mind just keeps thinking about how I need to drop by just 5 more pounds and then I’ll finally be happy with how I look. It’s always more, more, more. Eating anything just makes me guilty now, no matter how low calorie it is. I am terrified of gaining the weight back, as if I will be disappointing myself and everyone around me. I know I have destroyed my metabolism and the thought of trying to fix it, which will inevitably lead to some weight gain, terrifies me as well.
No matter how much I lose, it seems like I will never be happy with how I look.
I am not necessarily looking for advice on how to overcome my thinking right now, but feel free to share if you’ve also experienced this. Any words of support is also highly appreciated. Thank you:)
Tl;dr — Significant weight loss has led me to develop potential ED and body image issues.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/kx9vLa5
No comments:
Post a Comment