I weigh almost 200 pounds. I gained about 60 pounds from 2020 because my mom got diagnosed with cancer and I started eating to cope and my eating disorder got really bad. When I started gaining, I started to hate myself and I still do. I keep spending money on weight loss programs and healthy food but I end up going on a binge or just eating unhealthy to make up for how empty I am inside. I barely have the motivation to workout or go outside because I hate myself and feel ashamed. My confidence and self image has been destroyed. My mom passed away in last November and I have trauma surrounding her death that I am still coping/struggling with. I have been stressed since 2020 and I still am now. I feel overwhelmed with diets and workouts and weight loss conversations. I wish I never starting eating so much because I felt sad leading to my weight gain. I wish I was my weight in 2019; I didnt love my body then but at least I was at a healthy weight. I am scared I am going to form health problems. I am only 26 years old and i am afraid for my health and I feel like I have no self control whatsoever. I spend everyday thinking about what I am going to eat and how much I weight and what workouts I should do on top of being stressed and grief stricken. I feel like there is no hope for me. I don't even take pictures of myself anymore. I miss the old me and I don't like how food and weight controls my life. thanks for listening.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/frZOxPN
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