I am currently 68 kg at 162 cm for context. So despite paying for a dietician I haven't lost more than 1 kg since mid summer. I also got rejected around then after getting undressed in front of someone that expected me to be less fat/more toned (didn't catfish them at all) after my weight loss, and honestly I always end up ruining my diet and overeating when I am thinking about what happened. Ofc it's just a me problem but I am paying and have nothing to show for it and thinking of giving up because my fat distribution is just weird and I can hide it with clothes anyway. I was really happy for losing the weight I put on since 2020 and honestly maybe I am delusional but I didn't think my body was that unattractive. Now I can't help but notice how disproportionate it looks and it makes me want to purge again just to hurt myself in some way for being. I understand that's my ED affecting me and above reddit pay grade.
Just a small rant past 3 am. The bright side is that I am trying to stick to good eating habits like not skipping meals, eating plenty of fiber and drinking a lot of water because I think they helped me lose or at least maintain my weight and helped with my bulimia too. I need to get back on track and it's long overdue. It's been more than 2 months. I should be over it by now :/ and I am quite embarrassed because I know I am doing this to myself and I am being a big baby!
Please shake me hard.
Edit: But anyway, slay, because I dropped a skirt size and got a cute dress :3 so win overall.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/oGR1s7M
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