I always see posts about body dysmorphia across the weight loss subreddits, but it’s one of those things you don’t understand until you experience it. Man were y’all right. It sucks.
I wouldn’t say I was more confident before losing 14 pounds (so far), but I was more consistent with my self-image. A lot of the time it was neutral. I knew I could change the way I looked but just didn’t. But now that I’m trying to better my looks, my self-image has been very volatile. Some days I feel great, but a lot of days I feel down.
Don’t get me wrong, I would never undo this progress to feel better. I feel so much healthier, and now I’m able to go about life without the background noise in my head telling me “you’re fat” (despite the fact that I’m ~20 lbs away from my GW). But ya know. My mind likes games.
I hope it doesn’t get much worse than this. Maybe my confidence will stabilize when I’m done.
I’m still proud of myself though.
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