I have re-gained about 60 of the 86 pounds I lost 2 years ago. Need advice on sustainable exercise/food habbits

Context

2 years ago I weighed 268 pounds and in the 10th grade of high school. I contribute most of my weight loss to external factors.

I joined my high school tennis team and daily practice caused me to lose a good 40 pounds there. Then between the summer of 10th to 11th, I worked my first job at a grocery store as a bagger and opened my own gym membership, which included a personal coach and Zumba classes(gave me social pressure motivation like tennis). I also broke under 200 pounds(was so happy!!). When the 11th grade began, I joined the Cross Country team because I loved to run at this point and broke at my minimum 182.

Food-wise, I didn't know what I was doing. I limited my portion-sizes as I remember eating 1 apple for dinner one day. I didn't eat sweets(no ice cream, candy, and sometimes limited intake on bananas and strawberries), never drank anything besides water(still don't), and ate salads almost every day. My diet was restrictive and something I couldn't sustain for the rest of my life.

The main reason I want to lose weight is to gain confidence. As of now, I'm a college student and I have to present myself in front of people. Part of my presentation performance includes self-confidence. Also, exercising boosts my mood and gives me energy throughout the day(I tell people its a coffee replacement).

What can I do?

I'm scared of lifting weights because I REALLY don't want to become the Rock with shoulders exaggeratedly broader than my waist nor tree trunks for arms... just don't want that look. Is it possible to tone my arm muscles without increasing arm width too much? What specific gym equipment/exercises should I focus on?

What advice could you give on food? When it comes to food, I don't know what I'm doing because I know sharply restricting food intake is unsustainable. Can you provide some general foods I should avoid or pursue for breakfast and lunch/dinner?

Any general advice would be helpful, please! Thank you guys so much for reading!

submitted by /u/darrylkid
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