I’ve been a major lurker here for a few months. Ever since I put on my big girl pants (both literally and figuratively) and decided I needed to shed a few (about 30 lbs). And tonight I made a major, responsible change in my habits and I just wanted to say thank you.
My weight loss struggles began the same as many young girls: in high school when I developed an eating disorder. Lasted all through undergrad. I then went to graduate school and decided I could no longer treat myself that way and remain academically competitive, so I slowly worked my way out of some horrific habits by doing the exact opposite. I started eating what I wanted and literally never thought of my weight. So yeah, I gained a bit.
And the intervening years have been a mix of fad diets, and crash diets, and lots of behavior that dips a toe back into eating disorder territory. I’ve maintained a consistent binging habit this entire time, I would just couple it with fasting and over exercising and VERY strict eating behavior to counter it. Not exactly healthy and responsible.
A few months ago, I started yet another diet and got focused again. And it got bad. I focused on just my diet for a time, losing about 12 lbs (took a while, I’m a little older...), and cut my calories to around 1300 per day to get there. I’m not built small, even despite the few extra pounds, so this is already pretty low for me. And then I stalled, and a friend invited me to try interval training, and I did and I still wasn’t losing. Believe me, my rational brain knew I was gaining muscle, but I was already back in a bad way in my headspace and I was obsessed. And having gained a significant amount of control over my eating habits during this time, I cut even further and I basically wasn’t eating anything beyond enough to get the hunger pains to dissipate. And then I had a complete meltdown.
I came here to refocus. I kinda spend my time before bed on reddit anyway, but I started lurking extra hard here to gain the confidence to pull back out again. I was reading all your posts, your tips and tricks, everything you’ve learned, the good habits, etc. And it was scary to fall back into that place, but even scarier to pull back out again.
And today I sucked it up and I recalculated my calories, I set myself at a healthy deficit, and I ate UP to my requirements, not as little as possible. And it felt good. And that’s a win for today so I’m good with it. Tomorrow is another day to fight the good fight and continue to work on being “healthy,” not “skinny.”
For all of you struggling, no matter what you’re struggling with, keep fighting. Little victories are worth celebrating. I’m getting kinda old, and I’m still remembering and fighting against the stupid shit I did as a teenager. But I’m better every day. And you are too.
And for those of you who spend your time here cataloguing all of your great discoveries and victories for us to look to and build upon... thank you thank you!
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/31R3lcp
No comments:
Post a Comment