Hi! 21 year old female here with 20 kg to lose. I’ve gained 5 of these in the last 3 months (although I’ve been trying to lose weight) and I keep gaining weight.
I have been following this sub for months now. I am so inspired by the posts here, and I start a new weight loss journey every morning, only to give up and eat 3-4 times my calorie goal in the evening. Sometimes I do well for a few days, but when I finally give up I just go into a binging phase.
I feel lonely. I want to be like the people on this sub, commit to healthy eating and weight loss, but I can’t. Sometimes I want to be like my thinner, more carefree friends who eat junk food when they want to and stop when they’re full, but I can’t (because I’m unable to enjoy unhealthy food in moderation for some reason). I want to be like my heavier and carefree friends, but I just can’t seem to make peace with the way I look.
I feel angry at myself for being this pathetic, hopeless, and weak. I find that the anger is one thing that triggers a binge, which in turn makes me even angrier. I don’t know how else to deal with anger...I almost want to hurt myself in some way, hence I keep going past the point where I feel sick.
I feel tired of thinking about food. I wish I could stop eating altogether. Just get away from food for a while. Because there’s always a part of my head that’s fixated on food when it’s around.
I feel sick... That might have to do with all the junk food I just ate.
I forgot where I was going with this, just needed to let it out I guess. Thank you for reading all of this. If there is any of you that feels similar, or felt similar at some point, maybe we’re not so alone after all.
Finally, I’d love to hear from people who felt this way in the past, but managed to push through and reach a happier place.
Thank you all so much for reading this.
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