24F 5’4” SW:265lbs CW:245lbs
Today has been a day of big up and downs for me. I started off the day reaching 20lbs down! I’ve been doing CICO and walking for about a month and a half.
Next, my bf got an exercise bike delivered and getting it up the stairs to the third floor was a real struggle. I am still physically exhausted from it! But after putting it together I am super excited to have an easy way to do cardio at home, especially as it gets colder outside.
I have had some other stress going on with financial aid for school and between everything it was about 3pm and all I had eaten today was a popsicle. My boyfriend asked if I would be interested in some BWW for an early dinner because I had mentioned I needed to eat soon. I contemplated whether I should or not because restaurant food/fast food is a major trigger for me binge eating. At the same time I still had like 1200 calories to eat for the day so I said yes.
Not too long ago the food arrived and I measured out a serving of fries, cheese curd, and grabbed 8 wings. I started inputting the portions of food I got into MFP as I sat down to eat.
I could see from what I input into MFP, eating everything I grabbed was gunna be wayyyy too many calories. In past weight loss attempts I might justify this as just being a maintenance day. But eating 2000 calories in 1 meal because I didn’t make time to eat in the day and I’m exhausted and emotional, is not a maintenance day, even if maybe the calories play out that way. It’s binging and I know I will feel terrible after eating that much at once, and it probably wouldn’t end there. In the past, single instances like this have sent me into a spiral and made me give up trying to loose weight.
So I decided to cut the portion of everything I got in half and try that. That put me slightly under my calories for the day which I felt like was pretty good. I’d like to say I ate super slow and mindfully the whole time but I gotta say I pretty much inhaled the cheese curds and fries 😆. By the time I was done with them though, the feeling of hunger subsided some and I ate two wings more slowly. After I finished them I realized I really wasn’t hungry anymore. I again adjusted my MFP entry for only two wings and put the rest of the wings in the fridge.
I ended up eating about 850 calories for the meal and I still have enough calories left to have like 4 of those leftover wings later if I want them! Maybe getting BWW wasn’t the best decision I could have made for the day, but I know I’m not going to always make the best food choices, and I’m glad I still kept control over my portions.
This is not my first time starting a “weight loss journey” but I really want it to be my last. I think binge eating and the guilt associated with it is one of the reasons I have failed in the past so this is really something I am trying to be mindful of. If you read all of this, thank you! I hope you are having a good day and I would love to hear anyone’s experiences or tips about struggling with binge eating and weight loss!
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