Hello fellow losers (in a good way!), I'm new to this subreddit, and reddit in general. Like a lotta people here I'm trying to lose weight and get into better shape, not only for looking better, but for physical and mental health reasons.
I've been a heavier person all my life for the most part. I peaked weight wise at 23 when my depression was through the roof, I was working a dead end job at CVS, and my life felt like it was on the verge of ending. I was so depressed and borderline suicidal, I just didn't care what happened to me anymore, because no one else really did. At my very worst I was between 370 and 380 pounds.
It was only after getting accepted to school for the major I wanted to study, that I moved out of my cruddy hometown and got out of my stressful environment. I quickly lost nearly 60 pounds my first year of school simply from eating less garbage and walking to classes. I didn't really watch what I had been eating, but eating less seemed to help. By the time my second year of school ended I had made it down to about 310-ish, and was feeling amazing. I was still really fat, but was MUCH better. I was engaged, things were going a-okay for me. I was about 280 and still had a long way to go, but I was happy and working on myself.
Well after that next year my relationship had broken up, I was devastated, and I spiraled into depression again and I peaked back up to about 320. My forth and final year of school (technically a half year) I had discovered the beast known as anxiety, and anxiety and depression started teaming up against me. While I didn't gain much weight my final semester, I was somewhere where I couldn't see a doctor due to lack of health insurance, and so there were times where felt like I was gonna crack like an egg.
I did survive my final semester of school and graduated in 2020... just weeks before Covid-19 really kicked off. I went back home planning on finding work and moving outta my Mom's home quickly, only for the whole to halt due to the outbreak, and so with that my depression and anxiety rose. I eventually saw a therapist whose idea of help was just chucking meds at me. She put me on Lexapro and my depression and anxiety didn't change at all, but my apatite did and I spiraled back to 350-360. I was once again borderline suicidal and just so unhappy and it felt like the world was burning around me and my life had just been put on pause forever.
At the end of 2020 I decided that the meds, and the therapist I was seeing, didn't do anything good for me and so I went through a TRAINSPOTTING style detox off of Lexapro cold turkey, maybe the worst four days of my life, (DO NOT DO THAT), but eventually I got off it and the side effects wore off just before the end of 2020.
2021 was also an emotionally rough time, lots of anxiety and depressive bouts, but I managed to go from 350-360 to 292 by the end of the year by just going on walks, watching what I was eating, and keeping track of things I was eating. I wasn't doing it constantly or what not, but it had helped me lose all that weight and back to square one by the end of 2021. At the turn of the year my anxiety and depression are doing better, and while I still feel trapped due to my financial and living situation, I'm working on bettering myself. Currently I'm 2 years into a job search off and on while doing a bit of freelance work to keep my basic bills paid. I'm seeing a new therapist once a month whose really helped me with my anxiety and depression (which have been doing a hell of a lot better).
Now here on January 10th, 2022, I'm 28 and currently weighed in this morning at 295 (I think I'm slightly less due to water weight from working out). I'm going to the gym 2-3 times a week for the last two weeks, days where I'm not working out I'm going on half hour walks while listening to music, for both exercise and stress relief. I'm starting to watch every bit of food that I eat to fully get back into it using calorie trackers and what not. I've got a very fitness focused pal whose never weighed more than 220 in his life and is very buff but has never been fat. He said I should join the gym and I have for at least a few months to just test the waters. He says I'll get just as strong as him if I keep it up, though I've seen a lotta "bro-science" stuff he's shown me, most of which say I won't gain muscle until I start eating more calories, but weight loss is my goal atm, so I'm not really sure what is right or wrong on that one. I'd like to get stronger, but if I have to eat like a mad man and gain a shit load of weight before I lose weight- well it just seems counter intuitive.
I don't think I'll ever be skinny, and that's more than okay with me, but being a smaller, stronger me would be amazing. I also know dieting is 90% food, 10% exercise but losing more weight, gaining muscle, building endurance and stamina, and just being healthier and happier are my goals this year.
I guess I'm just looking for a few people around my age demographic who are planning on losing some weight this year, and bonus points if you know what you are doing. Anyone whose become stronger or has lost weight and can give advice or anything, it's really appreciated.
Good luck to you all this year!
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