Hi friends. I started therapy a while ago because of social anxiety and unrelated stress in my life. I am morbidly obese and have been overweight my whole life, but I hit my highest weight in 2022.
During that period, I experienced the stereotypical anxieties and fears about being overweight. I would avoid social occasions out of fear of being judged for my weight or because finding a nice outfit in my size would be difficult. I would have intense paranoia that everyone in public is looking at me and judging me because of my weight.
Since the beginning of this year, I’ve lost about 30 pounds through just portion control and only recently began to actually improve my diet and exercise. I find that I’m slightly less anxious and more willing to socialize since losing the weight, but I am still largely overweight and far from being considered normal for my height. I’ve done a lot of work to repair my negative thoughts about my body and a detrimental relationship with food, which has given me this protectiveness about my body image.
I want to feel happy and confident regardless of my physical appearance, and I want to lose weight to be healthy. But I can’t help but feel like my recent weight loss is the sole reason that I feel less anxious in social situations. Do you guys think this is an unhealthy shift/perspective? My fear is that I’m tying too much of my self worth on my size and other’s opinions. I talked a bit about it in therapy, and my therapist says that I should allow myself to feel good without worrying about where my good feelings are derived from. What do you guys think? How has losing weight impacted your self esteem and body image?
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