It took me 2 years to shave down my weight from 212 to a staggering 136 pounds, but I managed to do so. However, once I finally reached that staggeringly low weight, I realized I was not at all happy with my body shape. Since I did not work out at all (which is a crucial step in the weight loss process) I found that I ended up with a skinny but flabby body. I was more confident, however, I was constantly fixated on the idea of getting rid of excess areas of fat. Of course, this was not going to be healthy at a weight of 136 pounds (what more else is there to lose at that weight without a pound of muscle on my body?)
Now to move onto how I gained the weight back. It started in January when I thought that one cheat day was not going to send me back to my starting weight, however, I was oh so very wrong about this. The cheat day turned into a cheat month and that cheat month turned into a cheat year. Why did this happen? I have no clue, however, I can attribute it mostly to falling out of the weight loss habit. Before these new cheat days in 2020, I felt a significant amount of guilt when eating a large amount of food. As the months went on in 2020, this feeling of guilt when consuming a large number of calories became absent. The months passed by as I continued to steadily gain weight. Now here I am, at 196 pounds in November of 2020. Mostly ashamed that I allowed myself to fall back into the old habits that plagued my early years of life.
After so many months of denying the obvious weight gain and lack of self-control, I am finally able to accept the state of my body. No longer am I telling myself that it's water weight or that I look no different in a mirror. Of course, this was no easy feat. The realization came as a shock when I realized my medium shirts no longer fit comfortably, or when my pants felt like they were choking my waste. These problems are irrelevant to me now, as I am going to accept my weight gain for what it is.
I feel like to really get started on this new weight loss journey, I had to convey some of my internal thoughts into words. Perhaps this will help me form some sort of accountability on this new weight loss journey, as it actually helps me accept what I've done. I feel like this time is going to be a lot easier due to my already learning all the tricks regarding weight loss. I've already done it before, I can do it again but better this time. I can actually get the dream body I've desired this time around. I hope this time is different.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3nHdj7H
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