I feel like I am cheating

TLDR: Was unsuccessful until I started medication for ADHD. Now the weight is melting off and I feel guilty, like I am cheating.

(This is a new account for privacy, but I've been reading/participating here for a long time on my main account.)

I'm 35/F, 5'6".

My weight has been up and down a few times over the years. Before I got pregnant I had settled in at 140 and was maintaining there for a couple years, with a lot of concerted effort. I gained too much with my first pregnancy, never lost of all it, then got pregnant again. When my youngest hit 6 months old last spring, I decided it was time to buckle down and lose the weight. It was a huge struggle. I very slowly made it from 170 down to 165 with what felt like massive effort - counting every calorie, working out religiously, feeling deprived all the time. I was plateaued around 165 for months and thought maybe I'd just be stuck there forever.

Then I restarted adderall for my ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD in high school and I have been on and off medication for it many times over the years. I recently decided (with my doctor) that my prior strategies for managing it without meds weren't working anymore. I had been on adderall several times before (including at my heaviest weight years ago) and it never helped with weight loss at all, so I was not anticipating any effect on my weight.

When I started the adderall November 1, I weighed 162.8. Today I weighed in at 147.2. In the past two months I've put *less* effort into losing weight than I was for the six months before that, and the weight is just melting off. It feels like a switch flipped. My adderall dosage is very low - it's not like I'm not hungry all day or forget to eat. But suddenly it's super easy for me to eat a reasonable size meal and then stop, and to avoid snacking in between meals. I even stopped counting calories because I mostly eat the same meals over and over and I can now comfortably stay at a deficit each day without tracking. I feels so easy.

I feel so guilty because I feel like I was a failure on my own and now I'm only succeeding because of a pill. Friends have asked me and I tell them (truthfully) that I'm working out a lot and loading up on protein and veggies, but I conveniently leave out the adderall part. (I've discussed the weight loss issue with my doctor and she is comfortable with everything.)

I don't know if there's a point here, I just needed to get it off my chest. For what it's worth I have been eating very cleanly and working out, so it's not like total magic. I just don't know why I couldn't make those things work for me on their own, prior to the medication.

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