I am a 21M, growing up I was diagnosed with leukemia (really not a big deal, or necessary detail), but because of the steroids and medicines I was constantly on for years i became a fairly obese child. This continued far after I was finished with treatment, and with the inclusion of growing up in a decent home with lots of food, and continued to stay fairly overweight.
When I turned 19 I weighed around 165-170lbs and decided I finally needed to make a significant change. At that point I began heavily calorie counting and held myself to around 1000-1200 calories a day for months. By December I was probably around 115-120, and just a few months later around my 20th birthday I was probably hovering just under 110. The rapid weight loss and calorie counting created an intense fear of gaining weight again, and I became obsessed with staying skinny no matter what.
Eventually I convinced myself to delete all dieting apps, and try and enjoy life again. However, i recently turned 21 years old, and I am around 105lbs at 5'6. Even though i don't use any counting apps I still constantly think about my calories intake and try and do whatever it takes to stay skinny. Even though I know it's destroying me mentally and physically.
I continously skip meals to save up my "calorie budget" and look for ways to limit myself even If I am hungry throughout the day. I have also become aware that this is harming my actual relationships as I often avoid hanging out with people like my girlfriend who encourage me to eat more, and actually help me enjoy eating, because I am terrified of gaining weight and becoming overweight again.
I have never been able to properly explain to anyone what's been going on for the last couple years, and now I really don't know where to go from here.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/ONX3kRp
No comments:
Post a Comment