I always just thought I was a person who just loves food so that's why I ate all the time. I told myself I wasn't trying hard enough. That I needed to grind and force myself to lose weight. No mercy approach. Pure discipline. When I failed after a month I beat myself up every time.
I left my husband in November when he finally snapped and directed his anger at me and getting physical with me. I left immediately in a fright and went to live with my parents. The first change I noticed in being out of that environment was I suddenly slept through the whole night every night. Slowly other changes happened to me.
It's the end of May now and my appetite has completely dwindled away and I can only eat small portions now. I also don't really stop when I'm stuffed I stop when I feel satisfied. My cravings started coming up for fresher foods. I love fruit now. I'm enjoying cooking myself meals at home. Just for fun! I barely get fast food anymore. I can't remember the last time I craved for pizza or gummies or McDonald's. I'm dancing to the music at work cause I'm happy! I go outside and walk in nature just for fun and enjoy alone time because I'm happy. I'm totally looking forward to morning swims when the pool opens something that I used to love doing. None of these changes I had to force or grind at.
Hindsight being 20/20 I figured out that I was trying to fill the void of my needs not being met with food It wasn't that I wasn't capable enough, it's that there was an underlying problem of comfort eating as a coping mechanism that just wasn't going to go away until my mental health and life situation got better. Now that I'm happy and independent I don't have a void to fill anymore and I naturally gravitated towards a healthier lifestyle without thinking about it or trying to.
In December I was about 250lbs and now I'm nearing 230lbs. I'm still overweight and the changes are happening slowly. But I'm not feeling rushed or like I'm trying to lose as fast as possible or even like I'm paying super close attention to it like how I used to be in the times that I failed. It's more like I'm enjoying what's passively happening to me and I'm happy at whatever lighter weight I end up leveling out at.
I urge people who feel stuck in this loop of repeated failure and feeling not good enough to deep dive and figure out if there's mental health issues coming from life circumstances that you aren't conscious of that are setting you up for failure in the back ground.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/Y5GdCyD
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