How to not feel guilty for vacation unhealthy eating?

Hi all,

A brief background of my weight loss journey. I am a Male (6'0" - 25yr) who started losing January 2019. I started at 295 lbs and as of today, am weighing in at 205 lbs. I am very thankful for my journey so far, but I still have a ways to go. My end goal is somewhere around 180 with muscle definition. Previously, last year, I was losing by exercise and caloric deficit, with a few 'cheat days' a month. However, after my Christmas holiday binge, I decided to buckle down for the first few months. I haven't had a single 'cheat day' or even 'cheat meal' since Jan. 2nd 2020. I am going on vacation starting tomorrow, and have decided that I don't really want to hold back. I want to experience all the new foods that I can, and drink some new beers, since I will be out of state.

Basically, what I am struggling with now, is the guilt attached to this feeling of letting go. In the past year, I never really had an issue with this feeling because it was usually an every few week occurrence where I would go off of my diet for a few days for certain events and holidays. Historically, my body holds a lot of water weight, and I bloat up pretty big if I go off the rails for a couple of days. I am finally feeling comfortable in my own body and am down several shirt and pants sizes. I'm scared that my new clothes I just bought won't fit anymore. I'm also scared that I'm going to be noticeably bigger when I return to work in a week. I think that being so healthy for the past 2 months has negatively affected my thoughts on food, and it makes me nervous.

I'm wondering if anyone who has gone through such a drastic weight loss journey has encountered anything similar, and how they have overcome the guilt surrounding it. Or, if I'm stressing about nothing, please tell me.

Thank you all for the time, and my apologies for the long post.

TL;DR: I lost 90 lbs and want to go wild for ~10 days, but am feeling guilty. How do I not feel bad about it?

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