My husband told me he’d be more attracted to me if I was skinnier

Here to vent folks.

I was at my lowest weight when I met my husband. About 190. Fast forward and I’ve gained about 30 lbs. I take responsibility for that, but he also doesn’t keep snacks out of the house and rarely exercises with me. I’ve made both requests when he asks how he can help me when I tell him I wanted to get serious about getting back in shape.

Is it ultimately up to me if I eat those snacks and still exercise? Yes. I’m not blaming him for that, but it’s frustrating when I tell him it makes it difficult for me and he shows no support. When I lost weight the first go round it was by keeping junk out of the house completely. He’s one of those lucky people that just doesn’t feel hungry and can skip meals, I wake up ravenous and am pretty much hungry at least every two hours. It’s disheartening when you’re trying so hard and someone else can do it without any effort.

About two weeks ago I seriously started back up with cico and working out 5 days a week. I felt great this week, I had so much more energy and was excited to get back into an exercise regime. I’ve already lost a couple pounds as well which is always helpful motivation.

Last night, my husband told me he would be more attracted to me if I was skinnier. I’m not going to pretend it hadn’t been on the back of my mind for a year now, based on his level of intimacy(which I’ve brought on many occasions), but damn. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t absolutely crushed. On the one hand, I can objectively process this and understand that someone healthier would be more attractive to a man. But it sure hurts like hell when it’s about you and coming from the person that’s supposed to love you most. It’s also humiliating thinking you’ve been intimate with this person during this time and they didn’t like your body. I don’t even want to change around him now.

Maybe I wouldn’t be so upset (yeah, who am I kidding), if he had at least been supportive throughout my continued struggles with weight loss.

I feel so horrible about myself right now. I want to keep losing weight to be healthier, but the self talk right now is not pretty. It’s been a quick shift from doing this to empower myself to hating my body and feeling like I don’t deserve food. I know that’s not a good place to be or mindset to have but here we are.

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