Friday, August 6, 2021

Disappointed in myself.

My weight loss journey has been quite a rollercoaster. At 27 I went from 420 -> 180 in 1¾ years. I then met my ex and shot up to 250, after we broke up, I dropped to 202 in May. My current girlfriend and I had many social obligations (3 weddings, 2 birthdays and a family reunion and we moved into a new place) throughout our summer and I became very lax on my eating/drinking. I knew I was being unhealthy, but I enjoyed living my life with my girlfriend. I weighed myself this morning and I'm 211 (2lb lean muscle gain 140lbs total lean muscle, rest is fat. Weighed on a biometric scale).

I'm so incredibly disappointed in myself that this keeps happening. I apparently can only go 0 or 60 and no in between. I'm 34 next week and all I can think about is how I'm just always going to be doing this. My girlfriend has a birthday trip planned for me next week to tour breweries and have dinner. I feel like I haven't earned it and feel bad about going.

I exercise 5 times a week doing calesthetics (Squat Holds, Push-ups, Mountain Climbers, Knee Lifts, Resistance Ring, jogging in place, ect). Moving forward I plan on sticking to a 1500 calorie, low carb, high protein diet and adding jogging to my calesthetics.

I guess the whole point of the post is to express my disappointment in my eating habits. Thanks for listening to anyone who reads this.

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