Hey friends, just posting for some advice. I feel stuck and very defeated.
Due to a very deep depression in the end of 2017/start of 2018 I was absolutely immobilized by depression and I put on 45 pounds. My normal weight is a muscular 120-125 pounds and I'm 5'2'' for reference so for someone of my size, it's a significant amount of weight to gain. Before that I was in very good health, active, eating well etc.
It was awful, but slowly I came out of my depression and over the course of about 7 months of stop and go dieting (CICO, OMAD) and exercise (cycling, walking) I was able to lose about 25 pounds. I would be on top of things for a month and then just... fall off... spend three weeks eating way too much and not really working out at all until I would snap out of it and get back on track.
It took me FOREVER to get below 140 but I eventually did, and weight loss slowed down. By then it was around the holidays and I was also preparing for a big move (to a different country) and I just kind of stalled under 140.
It's been almost four months here in my new country of residence and I just can't seem to lose the last 20 pounds (I gained about 5 back). I joined a gym and it's been fits and starts again, cardio... eating well and then just completely falling off. It's been about two weeks now of just really poor eating habits and very low activity and I am just terrified that I won't get back on track and that I am going to gain all of the weight back.
The most frustrating thing for me is that the progress at this point is just so S L O W. It's so hard to go to the gym everyday and be really mindful of what I am eating only to see the scale move like... a half a pound in two weeks. It just doesn't add up... and so after a few weeks of really being healthy and active I slip up with some pastries or something and then it's just all downhill from there.
I know I am capable of losing weight, I have done so before but as it stands right now my motivation/discipline is shot. This is probably a very repetitive post but, I'm just hoping someone out there might have some advice. I'm so glad that this community exists because even when I am at my lowest, I still can come on here and have hope :)
Any and all advice is appreciated. Thanks :)
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