So I’ve been on my serious weight loss journey since I turned 19. Starting at 13, I ballooned up, peaking at around 300lb at 6’ even. This had a severe effect on my self confidence, and was a major contributor to my depression and suicidal ideation. I was sluggish, and could hardly climb a flight of stars without getting winded. I yo yo dieted a lot.
However, once I turned 19, I did a lot of introspection and finally got into therapy. After talking to my dad, I made a plan for myself. I started out doing keto, which worked for my dad, and for me at first, too. As of now, I’m around 250lbs. I feel better than I ever have in my life, but of course, that’s relative to my past. I still struggle with my mental health.
Additionally, I’ve been maintaining between 248 and 255 for the last 6 months due to a combo of lazy dieting (holidays didn’t help lol) and lack of tracking and portion control. My version of “keto” was basically heaps of meat and cheese. (No wonder my acid reflux was acting up.)
However, over the last week, I did some more introspection, and realized keto isn’t sustainable for me. It runs up my grocery bill, fucks with my GI tract, and is easy to overeat on (in my experience). Since then, I’ve been increasing my workout intensity, my deficit, re downloaded MFP, and am changing my diet to reincorporate more lean protein and vegetables. I’m doing my best to avoid processed foods, cured meat, and refined sugars. I feel pretty good, but transitioning from keto to a normal healthy diet is mentally tough for me.
Yesterday I indulged in one of my favourite hobbies which I have avoided for a long time due to my diet: baking. Specifically bread. I used to have a nice sourdough starter and would be by my over constantly. So I baked a nice loaf of bread and ate a good sized slice with a spread of natural PB to get in my remaining calories for the day. I feel fine, maybe a bit fuller than usual. However, the little voice in the back of my head is screaming at me for eating that slice, and depression is rearing it’s ugly head.
I honestly think I bought into the broscience too much. I’d always lurk on the keto and keto science subreddits. I know keto absolutely works for some people, my father included, but it just doesn’t for me. A lot of people also seemed to be super purist/gatekeepy, and there was always some YouTuber “nutritionist” or out of context study to justify all the wild claims. I also see a chunk of people — albeit a minority — believe that eating 3 steaks a day and a brick of cheddar are better than a bowl of rice and chicken
I know bread/rice can be incorporated into a healthy diet, that it’s fuel for the body, and that moderation is key. I probably won’t eat much a day anyways as too much will flare up my GERD, but it’s still hard dealing with the internalized guilt of eating carbs. It almost makes me want to give up, but I know I can’t. I want to live a healthy life.
I’m sorry if I come off a bit rambly. I usually lurk, but this is weighing on me. I’m just curious if any ex-ketoers can relate, or if anyone has some sage advice. It’s hard when all you’ve read is “carbs are the devil” for the last little while.
PS
no offence to anyone who’s had success on Keto. I’m of the belief that everyone has their own path to health, and if keto works for you, that’s great. My gripe is mainly with the attitude of online communities than the diet itself
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