I am 27 years old. I am 5 foot 10 inches tall. I weigh 357lbs. I don't have any health complications from being overweight.
But its true. I feel like I am going to die from being so unhealthy. I have been overweight for as long as I can remember. I have ALWAYS been big. I went to the gym yesterday, weighed myself, and walked out crying.
I am not trying to have a pity party. I'm really not. I just don't know where to go. My whole life, I have had been told the age old anecdotes of "You are a growing kid", "You will get a growth spurt", "You are young, don't worry about it", "Its all about portion control, you can eat whatever you want". All of these I know we have heard before. And in a way, I still use these to this day to excuse my behaviors. But, I feel like I cant do it. I get into these phases of "Okay, I can do this" and then I look in the mirror and then I get sad and depressed and repulsed at the weight I have, and then I go back into my old ways and habits and say "fuck it" i'm gonna die anyway I might as well live it up. And then reality kicks in and I get back into the "I can do this" phase and it just repeats itself. When I get into the mode to where I can do it, I cheat all the time. And it just perpetuates itself. I feel like I cant live without Diet Soda.
The tough love routine doesn't work for me. It just makes me more depressed and I begin to resent people and myself. I've thought about weight loss surgery, but that's not the easy way out at all. If I slip up once I can potentially die. I just. I dont know what to do. I dont know what is helpful. What is useful.
Can anyone give some advice?
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