my title pretty much says it all (and pending on the reaction to this, this may just be a throwaway).
my obesity had always been a problem in my life and im super glad that i figured it out at 22 years old and lost 150 pounds (Starting at 310 and now 160 and just 5'8") but i dont really view it as a real accomplishment.
Career goals, running a marathon, starting a family, to me, those are real accomplishments.
I more so view my weight loss as just kind of cleaning up my own mess if that makes sense. Like, im the one who stuffed my face everyday for 18 years. My obesity was my fault. Is fixing my own fuck up really an accomplishment?
now, of course, my friends and family dont see it that way. And dont get me wrong, i appreciate their kind words and all but to me, im like "well, you guys were always skinny and you never got praise, so, why should i?" My friends and families praise just makes me feel really awkward, ESPECIALLY my mom's, she throws me a "im so proud of you" everyday. it almost makes me feel like when a 4 year old child brings his mom a shitty finger painting he made an art class and then she hangs it up on the fridge.
And Look, i know im being an asshole about the whole thing and i know alot of you guys are really proud of your weight loss but i just genuinely dont feel the pride.
I see weight-loss insta models feel pure happy and joy about their before and after pics and i just envy that joy. I look back at my fat pics with pure embarrassment and instead of embracing my weight loss journey, i just prefer to forget that i was ever fat.
Again, i know im being a debbie downer and i know i have self-esteem issues that i still need figuring out but does anyone else feel the way that i feel?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2TlukWA
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