I feel shitty. What I was afraid of happening, happened. Vet school has been a rocky road for me, and I have gained quite a bit of weight due to emotional eating and poor habits. But I know that, and I was so afraid of my extended family saying something about it that I considered addressing it when they all arrived, just to head off any negative comments said behind my back.
My boyfriend said it was better to just say "fuck them" and not care what they think. Which I'm sure we can all agree is easier said than done. But anyway, I tried to forget about it and be happy for myself, today. In fact, I had just finished a whole conversation with my uncle, where he said I should be so proud of myself and not think about anything else but what I've accomplished, when we both went to our respective bedrooms that share a wall, and I heard him remarking to my aunt on the phone about my weight. He said how I had gained a ton of weight and it was a shame because I was such a pretty girl. That he watches how I eat, and it's just straight to the dessert table.
I'm infuriated. I'm infuriated with him because I feel very hurt and betrayed. I'm furious with myself for caring what he thinks. I'm more furious with myself for letting my weight get this bad. And I'm furious that I let it get to me, that I'm crying right now, that this reinforces the hate I have for myself and my body.
I had planned on truly committing myself to a better, healthy lifestyle after the grad celebrations we're over, but now I don't think I'll be able to enjoy anything we eat tomorrow, knowing what my uncle is thinking.
What were some of the best things you did for yourself in the beginning of your weight loss journey, to stay positive, before your progress started to show? I know the hardest part is getting started, I just need some words of encouragement that things won't always be like this.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2WhFTCs
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