I’ve already gotten the usual “should you be eating X?” “X isn’t good for your diet”, etc. I’m literally counting and recording every little bite of food I eat, if I’m eating something like the tiniest bit of chocolate or a chip, I don’t need the comment, “but it’s bad for you!” If I’m eating it, it means I have enough calories to spare for a little treat. I’m the type of person who can’t completely cut myself off from these treats because it’ll force me into a binge in a week or two (which I’ve learned the hard way from past experience).
But today really pissed me off. I do home care and my boss has analyzed my “diet” to death!
“How many pounds have you lost?” Well, I’m only a week in so probably not much. “But you have to keep track, otherwise how will you know how much you’ve lost?” Well, it’s not healthy for me to weigh myself too often because I get too obsessive about the number on the scale and get discouraged. “Well, how many do you think you’ve lost?” I don’t know, I haven’t weighed myself. “Well how many do you think?” I don’t know. Maybe 1 or 2. “Well, that’s not enough. You should be losing 4-5 pounds in your first week.” I just stayed silent.
“How often are you exercising a week?” 5 days a week. Tomorrow is one of my off days. “Well, you shouldn’t be getting an off day, you should be exercising every day.” At that point, I just shrugged and said “maybe”. I felt like if I said anything else, I would burst.
Later, we go out to dinner and I get a salad. He says, “if you were REALLY dieting, you wouldn’t have gotten it with nuts and with the dressing on the side.” I didn’t even know what to say. I just shrugged. Later, we get home, and I was craving chips so I had a chip. Literally, A chip. One. “What are you eating?” A chip. “You’re not allowed to be eating.” At this point, I’m fed up and I gave him a dirty look. “What? I’m just trying to help you!” he replied.
Back home, before I started, my mom had told me (many, many times btw) to make sure I was exercising enough. I’ve been doing about 15-20 miles on my fancy new bike I just bought and when I exercised for about an hour and a half split into two sessions yesterday, I’m suddenly doing “too much” and to “pace myself”. I woke up early this morning before work (which is a first for me) and didn’t get to do as much as I was hoping, and now I “need to wake up earlier so I can get in more exercise”. I’m getting whiplash at this point!
Jesus FUCK! It’s been a week. A FUCKING WEEK ! It seems like everyone has an opinion on this and I’m already sick to death of it. I have about 100+ pounds to lose, and I don’t think I can handle this type of hawkish scrutiny for another 100 pounds. I’m literally on the verge of tears as I write this but I have to hold it in because I’m still at work. I can’t even lie and pretend I’m no longer watching my weight to get him off my back because I know that every time I would order a salad or something healthy, he would make the comment “I thought you weren’t dieting anymore.”
I don’t know what to do. I’m so fucking mad and irritated and now all I can think about is food and how I can’t even eat a goddamn chip or a salad without being questioned. What am I supposed to do cause I sure as shit have no clue.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2JV13Qe
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