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5’3 195lbs. Goal weight is 135.

I have severe mental illness and am on medication to help. I can’t go off antipsychotics completely because I deal with psychosis and paranoia, so it would be dangerous to do so. However, the last time I came off medication, the weight just slid right off of me, so I know it’s definitely the meds messing with my appetite and cravings.

I crave sugar and can’t think about anything other than getting my sugar fix. My guilty pleasure is Crumbl Cookies, and since their order minimum is 4, I eat close to 3,000 calories 1-2 times a week in cookies alone. Fruit doesn’t curb the cravings; it only makes it stronger.

I’m also horrible at meal prepping and cooking. I’m depressed and struggle to find motivation, especially to cook. I made protein pancakes for the week and they got soggy in the fridge because the fridge stopped working, which really dampened my spirits. I’m not sure if I’m going to eat them now but I’m certainly not cooking them again for another week.

Dinner is when I do the worst. I tend to eat really well at work (breakfast, lunch), and then I fuck it up by ordering in or eating a whole bunch of snacks. I’m not sure why this is when I fuck up. Maybe it’s because microwave meals don’t really have a taste to me; they just taste hot if that makes sense.

I spoke with my psychiatrist today and got one of my medications changed to one with a lower risk of weight gain, along with Contrave (a weight loss med) pending authorization from insurance. They may also start me on a stimulant to see if it helps with weight gain, but this is risky given the nature of my mental illness. I’m hoping I don’t need to go off my other medication because it was really helping me, but I might be willing to depending on things.

It sucks that I need to risk my mental health for my physical health, but if nothing changes, nothing changes.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for here. Support/encouragement? Advice? Not really sure.

submitted by /u/MenorahsaurusRex
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