Gave up, gave in, and back again

So last year, April to December, 2017, I lost a whopping 57 lbs. I was on the very brink of onderland, I could see, it. I could touch it, reach it. I was so excited, I hadn't been under 200 since high school. I was healthy, I was happy, I had a body shape that wasn't (quite as) floppy.

And then Christmas hit. I made a mistake. I thought... "I'll eat maintenance for the holidays. I won't lose, but I won't gain either!" And it worked. I ate through Christmas, eating maintenance and keeping up my walking to maintain my weight at 200-201.

And then... I didn't go back. I had missed the way I used to eat. The carbs, the large meals. It was like smoking that one cigarette after not smoking for ages. Then I rode into my final semester of college. Well, I continued that trend but started slowly gaining weight. My final semester was stressful, I was working constantly, I ate out a lot.

I graduated in April at 214. Not terrible. I could come back from it.

Between then and now, I don't really know what happened. I got depressed. I came to a place where I couldn't walk to get to places I needed to go (moved from the big city to the country, I couldn't walk to the train station, to work, or to the grocery store anymore.) I devolved back into my really unhealthy eating habits and this morning I checked my weight and saw a big whopping 237 looking back at me.

I undid 37 pounds worth of health and hard work in that short amount of time.

So here I am again. Starting fresh. Feeling the same way I did back in April 2017, although slightly more bitter about it all. One thing I noticed is that during that long period of weight loss, I logged my food every day. And I kept it up, even into my final semester as I gained weight. When I moved, I stopped. Well, I'm not gonna let that happen again.

Thanks for being a supportive community that I can lean on in these trying times.

Here's me at my heaviest and my lightest:

https://imgur.com/a/UrUwBeB

Imagine me somewhere in the middle, though with the neck of the heaviest. For some reason when I gained it all back it all went to my face.

submitted by /u/Kintarly
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