It’s my birthday in a week (yay! 21! Whooo so exciting!) and I’m looking forward to going out for dinner with my family and enjoying myself! Due to an ongoing illness and a complicated relationship with food, it’ll be my first proper birthday celebration in about 4 years, so I really want to let go of my insecurities and just have a good time.
Here’s the problem; my brain is a freaking asshole!
I’m around 15kg (30lbs) down from my highest weight but I’ve gained quite a bit from my lowest recently due to developing a binge eating issue, and my brain is telling me two things:
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I’m too fat to wear the backless top I never even would have dreamed of wearing outside at my highest weight (https://imgur.com/gallery/4XT0VSH) and that I should save it until I’m thinner.
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That celebrating my birthday with some food and cake (like a normal person) would ruin my weight loss progress and that I should avoid eating and stick to my lower calories.
It’s driving me absolutely nutso, I feel so torn.
Does anyone have any advice on how to beat that nasty inner voice? Or is it actually a voice of reason that I should listen to a little bit more? I have no idea!
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