I'll cut to the point because I have a habit of rambling.
I've really developed a love for weight lifting and going to the gym has now become the highlight of every day. Fitness is definitely my new hobby and I'm working towards entering a lifting competition in 2020. This love has led to me being the fittest I have ever been in my life.
The thing is that I've always been in the Obese to Obese I BMI range for my height (4'11) since I was... Born? Haha. I've been happily yet enviously invisible my entire life.
The issue I have right now is that I'm experiencing a lot of mixed emotions about my weight loss. I'm the happiest, healthiest, and most confident I have ever been. I also feel awkward and self-conscious about being "attractive" and scared of what that means for me and my role in the world.
I'll admit that I'm the stereotypical "ugly duckling turned swan" tale but even my boyfriend has commented on this. Last night he said verbatim: "I knew you were an investment but wow, I never thought you'd blossom like this. You're so sexy lately." Although I cringed including that last bit, the term 'sexy' in itself is what attributes to my mixed feelings. Its all just new and I'm not used to it. I just want to keep lifting while also being invisible.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2JvU4ir
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