I stepped on the scale today and saw 199.0 lbs. I can't believe I finally made it here! I started few months go at 220 lbs. I know that doesn't seem like much, at only 20 lbs weight loss. But it's really been a rough couple of years that have led to this and this feels like a significant milestole.
My start weight was actually 170 lbs about 3 years ago. I worked hard on losing weight with the wonderful help from this sub, and got down to 135 lbs. It was glorious and I was so proud of myself. I love fashion and enjoyed so much building my capsule wardrobe, and being able to enjoy dating, looking good in photos, blending into the world and just doing normal things. I really had the best time of my life when I was a normal weight.
But then everything went wrong. Since I was on a roll with weight loss, I decided to quit smoking. This was a great decision, no regrets. But it led to me being diagnosed with anxiety because apparently I had been "holding it all together" by smoking. I started SSRIs which had a terrible side-effect of increasing my appetite to the point where I never felt full. I put on about 70 lbs very quickly, in less than one year, and it continued to creep up from there. I felt like I'd completely lost control of my life and everything just became pointless and hopeless.
A few months ago I got diagnosed with high blood pressure, and my doctor told me I needed to lose weight. I explained that the SSRI was giving me an out of control appetite but they weren't willing to do anything to help. I've tried to tell the doctor this before, including while I was at my lowest weight, when I went to them out of desperation begging them for help not to gain any weight when I first started the meds. My doctor has unfortunately been quite dismissive on many issues I've taken to them, including this one. In hindsight I should just get a different doctor, but it was hard to see that while I was in the middle of all this.
After trying and failing to lose on willpower alone, I took matters into my own hands and stopped taking the meds (to be clear, I shouldn't have done this, and please don't any of you do this, the withdrawal side-effects can be very bad!). Finally I was able to do what I had done before three years earlier and eat at a reasonable calorie deficit. Immediately the pounds started falling off. In a way I feel vindicated that it was the meds causing the problem. But I regret so much that I've ended up in this situation in the first place. Also, fuck my doctor.
I'm taking it slow, losing half a pound or one pound per week. I'm eating OMAD mostly because it just works well with my daily routine and it's easy to not screw it up. I bought myself some new clothes on Black Friday to celebrate, because I've basically been wearing sweat pants for two years. I have all my "skinny clothes" in three big storage boxes, organised by season, and I cannot wait to lose more weight so I can open them!
Thanks for listening to my onederland ramble :)
Height: 5'4" / 163cm
Start weight: 170lbs
Highest weight: 220lbs
Current weight: 199lbs (yay!)
Lowest weight: 135lbs
Goal weight: To fit all my beautiful clothes again!
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