20F|175cm|SW:95kg(2017) CW:86kg GW:65kg
Over the past 3 years I’ve been trying to lose weight and have both jumped on the wagon and fallen off the wagon multiple times. (We’re talking 3-4 months of working out 5 days a week and a squeaky clean diet resulting in a ~15-10kg weight loss , only to be followed by binges that last 1-2 weeks that involve me eating 7-8000 calories a day and subsequently gaining most, sometimes even ALL of the weight back) This has happened 6times in the past 2.5 years alone. {every time I’ve tried to lose weight}
I am writing this post because I once again want to start losing weight but I’m terrified at the idea as I feel like I already know what’s going to happen.
I’ll be extremely dedicated for 3-4 months, lose a bunch of fat relatively quickly and then when the weight loss starts to slow down I’ll panic, and start a cycle of binging that I seemingly have no control over, leading to me gaining all the weight back again, a heap of self hatred will consume me and stop me from being able to start again quickly and I’ll be stuck feeling fat and disgusted by myself again.
2 years ago my hair started falling out in large quantities due to my rapid weight gain/loss, and while in the beginning I was unable to notice a huge change now my previous extremely thick hair is thin, especially around my hairline, and the hair loss isn’t stoping anytime soon.
At this point I feel like it’s pretty obvious that I have an eating disorder of some sort and would love to know if anyone has any advice to help me break the cycle when I try to lose weight again next week?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3oIxNOp
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