Hi everyone.
Forgive me if this isn't the place to post this, but I am hoping to find guidance from those with a similar experience.
I'm down 90lbs from where I was at this time last year and for the most part it feels good. I'm exhausted from trying to lose weight and cannot wait to get to my goal so I can work on maintaining.
I have started to self sabotage through binging about once a week since I made it to the 180s (5'11, female) six weeks ago. The culprit is peanut butter and/or dark chocolate. Once I start I can't stop.
Now I know the obvious solution is to not keep them in the house, but after two weeks of no binges ( half to a whole jar of pb), I purchased a few jars on sale with the intention of weighing it in a reasonable portion, just as I had most nights for the last year before the binging started.
Thursday night I ate the whole jar. Even the fact that I wasn't going to feel good at my planned personal training session didn't stop me. Last night I ate the whole jar. Then some salami and some cheese. Even the fact that I already had heartburn didn't stop me. Today I got about half way through and tossed the rest of the jar in the garbage. Before starting, even the fact that I have a nice dinner planned with my boyfriend didn't stop me.
I feel defeated and out of control. Oddly more out of control than I was 90lbs heavier.
Before weight-loss I could eat a lot, and would binge from time to time, but never this high in calories or on a single food. I have been so meticulous in tracking, meeting my macros, and not cheating for so long. My fear now is that I'm going off the rails and that I'm going to find another food and soon I'll back where I started. The days I weigh myself, my desire to stuff my face with food until I'm sick increases.
Has anyone else had this experience and how did you overcome it? (Other than not buying the peanut butter/binge food in the first place).
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2E3fUVg
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