I always feel awkward wanting to post my progress pictures in my fitness FB groups because I always get the same questions: how much weight did you lose? What were your before/after measurements? How many inches did you lose in your waist? What is your goal weight?
I don't know.
I have disordered eating. It took a long time for me to come to realization, but it's true. I've never been diagnosed with an ED, but I know how I get obsessive about numbers. If I don't lose enough inches, or enough lbs that week, I get into very toxic mindsets that will ultimately put me in an unhealthy outcome. It happened to me two years ago when I went on this journey right before I hit a roadblock because of my Stage IV Endometriosis.
But I almost feel alone about this mindset. I have to explain I don't measure myself. I get asked why. Now I don't mind telling people I have disordered tendencies when it comes to eating because it's true, and I don't think a lot of people in my life understand that there are ways to harm yourself mentally when you are actively trying to lose a certain amount of weight for a "goal weight" that may never come.
In my 2020 Fitness Journey that I started at the beginning of January, I now only take progress pictures bi-weekly. I judge my clothes and how they fit. I judge by how I feel when I go out for 2.5-3mile run 4x/week, or how I feel as I'm about to finish the 2 Week Shred by Chloe Ting & move onto her other programs. I no longer skip meals or punish myself for not losing 2lbs in a week. In fact, I don't even diet. I just watch my caloric intake 80% of the week and allow a cheat day (ish) on the weekends.
I'm just curious if there are other people on their jouney with the same mindset where the number doesn't matter, or that you got a point where you finally sat down with toxic behavior re: weight loss and got to a place where you're simply trying to do what's best for you, not for the endgame 120 or 140.
This got sappy, but I hope someone out there who feels pressured by the scale/numbers can feel a little less alone.
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