Something that helped me.

Long post. Sorry In advance. I hope this helps you.

So, I’m a regular guy. 42, straight, married with 3 kids. I’ve always had a really poor body image. I’m 5’ 8” and at my heaviest I was 220 pounds. I know about nutrition, but I love beef & beer. I’ve tried to lose weight my entire life. I was bullied about it in school, and I guess it still hurts a bit.

For the last few years, stress from job and family had me coping with increasing amounts of alcohol. I knew it wasn’t right, but was too lazy to fix it.

6 months ago.

One drunk night, my wife called me out on my actions. Right then and in the days after, I thought maybe I was depressed. I also felt like shit and I wasn’t sleeping well.

I was finally honest on the mental health questionnaire for a general physical happening the same week. Dr. said I had pre-diabetes and needed to exercise more and eat less. 🙄 This is shit I’d been hearing my entire life. He also offered me a sample of an anti-depressant because of my answers.

I’m “kind of” anti-medicine because my mom takes way too many (see family stress), so I declined. I decided to see a councilor before I accepted the prescription. My employers Employee Assistance Program (EAP) pays for a few sessions, so this cost me nothing.

I had several great sessions. I learned about stress, cortisol, and what it does to the body. I learned about the effects alcohol has on the brain, and about the mood boosting effects of exercise. I also learned about the power of gratitude. So... I mostly quit drinking and started a half-hearted walking routine and a gratitude journal.

Then my car broke. 2 weeks waiting list to get it in the shop. I live 1.4 miles from my work. I had never driven because I work well before dawn & and I pick my kids off the school bus. I HAD to walk now, and still HAD to make my deadline for the school bus. I walked faster than I’d ever walked before because the bus will kick my kids off into public even if I’m not there.

During this time, I noticed something. I was so chilled out after I turbo-walked home, it was amazing. I had 2 weeks of good shifts and great evenings. Half-hearted effort yielded half hearted results, I guess.

Then my wife’s car broke. It was older, and we decided to replace it. In an instant, I lent her my car and we agreed to take our sweet time replacing it. That was another 2 weeks of walking.

Then I started to I walk a lot. Not for weight loss, but for my mood boost.

2 months ago?

This shit feels like a lifetime. The virus hit. That was/is stressful. I noticed my walking wasn’t boosting my mood like I’m used to. One of my regular walking routes took me by a public school track, and I found myself wondering if I could run a mile without stopping.

I did. It almost killed me, and it took about 12 minutes. My brain felt great though, and I’ve been improving my running ever since. When the school closed the track because of the virus, I went to an abandoned broken road next to railroad tracks near my work. It’s about .5 mile stretch of road. I laid some big branches down for exact measurements.

I no longer time myself on my runs. If I need to walk, I walk. I do however, go every day after work. You see, I’m an essential employee who has to work with the public. I wear a mask to work, and it still stresses me out. These days, I turn work-day frustrations directly into post-run zen. Running also helps me regulate my appetite. It seems to boost my metabolism & by now I know that mashed potatoes don’t sit right during my stress management runs so I avoid them. I also avoid overeating for the same reason.

A few days ago I ran 2 miles, flat out, medium effort. I wasn’t keeping track, but the time would have been great. Sometime in the fall, I’m going to run a 5K. These days I usually sleep better, I don’t have to watch what I eat as close, and I’m a better parent & husband. I don’t keep exact track, but less stressed me and the wife are making a bit more love these last few months.

This post is about weight loss, I know. I weighed in this morning at 204.4 I haven’t weighed this little for decades. I’m not even concerned about that number anymore. I love my new groove, I’m thankful for my councilor & the EAP program. I’m better in my mind, body, & soul. Weight loss was a really nice side effect when I started looking at my wellness as a multidimensional issue versus a number on a scale.

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