Monday, November 15, 2021

feeling demotivated :/

hi! this is my first post here and just wanted to share and see if anyone else feels this way. i have been working on my weight loss journey since September and I put in the work for 2 months (which I know isn’t that long but was a big milestone for me). i was going on a beach trip with some friends and used that to motivate me however I hated every second there, I refused to be in any photos and deleted whichever ones I was in and had so much negative self talk to myself about how ‘fat I was’ and how I never should’ve come on this trip because just being there was embarrassing. i felt everyone was looking at me and judging me, and i felt so shitty because I really did everything right before the trip but I still was not comfortable in my skin and felt the same as if I had done nothing for the past 2 months. i feel so bad because I had feeling confident on this trip as a goal in mind but I did not even feel comfortable wearing shorts, let alone a swimsuit there and it made me sad just feeling like I have such a long way to go. the trip is over now and I’m getting back to my gym and healthy eating routine but a part of me (which I know is wrong) is just kinda like fuck it - no matter what I do I’ll never be happy with myself and this negative self talk is just going to be with me for the rest of my life. everytime someone complimented me or was nice to me I just assumed they were lying and didn’t mean it. how could my insecurities and confidence become worse after trying to have a more healthy lifestyle?? it sucks because I was doing really well before the trip but now i feel very low. anyways this was just a rant, if you read till here i appreciate you!

submitted by /u/Standard-Chemistry17
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