he got hit on again in front of me, during a party that we were attending, and we were wearing a very obvious couples costume— I’m just so sick of it. he navigates the situations well time and time again, but this isn’t about him, it’s about me. I’m not confident in myself, and my deep insecurities lead me to be bothered by these situations and not feel compersion for him, or at the very least neutral about it. I want to feel good about my body, love myself, feel worthy of love. I’m learning to gain confidence but fuuuuuck I am having such a hard time! but fitness is just part of the equation, and my journey can’t be crossfit with him (my workout is modified due to herniated discs, c6, c7, t1, t2, spinal stenosis, loss of strength in hands/arms, etc. been in PT since July). my weight loss is what I really want to focus on right now because working out alone is not going to show me results.
IF has worked for me in the past, but I have to really focus on my eating habits (previously described as “unsupervised 5 year old at a birthday party”) and make sure that I find a plan that sticks for me for life, not just a “for now” diet.
I just want to create my own confidence and self love and satisfaction without depending on other’s reassurance. I guess I’m just writing on here to keep myself accountable, I don’t expect advice or even for any responses, but if people at least see this then I know I’m not alone.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3qvldFW
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