Thursday, January 5, 2023

My [38M] Journey with my weight.

Hi there everyone.

I've heard of this sub a while ago and have been quietly lurking about, but i finally decided to take the plunge and jump in to document my story with weight from childhood till current. Mods, if my story isn't allowed please feel free to lock/delete this thread. Also, apologies for those in this thread who use imperial measurements, i am from a country which uses the metric system so i will be using those.

As a child i was always overweight, throughout my time in primary and high school, thus i was constantly bullied about my weight. Eventually i grew up to ignore this bullying and out of my teens and into my early to mid 20's i was hovering around the 120kg to 130kg mark. This was also around the period i got my first job in a factory, while the job was quite heavy lifting working with steel and metal products, although i was overweight i did get quite fit so was able to handle the job well.

All my troubles came to a head back in 2014. While i was at work i suffered an injury which caused me to loose mobility. Because i could no longer do my previous tasks at work and my lack of mobility i got into a deep depression and my weight began to spiral out of control. I began to smoke cigarettes quite a lot, i had picked up smoking when i got my job in the factory but where previously i would smoke maybe 10 cigarettes a day i had now began smoking up to two packets 40+ cigarettes per day. The cigarette smoke would irritate my throat and the only thing that i found, or perhaps should say thought, would ease the irritation was drinking soft drinks(coke, sprite, etc). I would drive down to the local petrol station and pick up my cigarettes, usually 3 packets, and multiple bottles of soft drinks. I had become quite a regular customer that the staff at the counter and i became friends on a first name basis and they would recognize my car as soon as i pulled up.

My life was a mess. In 2016 i spoke to a specialist in regards to getting a gastric bypass surgery. My weight at this time was 196kg. The Dr, who was actually great, wanted me to loose 20kg before he would consider the surgery on me. He had a dietician in his office who put me on a diet plan, which to my surprise worked. I had gotten down to 175kg which took me about 2 months to achieve, when i went back to see the Dr he told me he wanted me to loose another 10kg more. I tried, oh how much i tried but i could not loose that last 10kg. I tried everything he and his dietician told me but nothing worked. I was disappointed in myself and my body, my depression came back and once again i completely spiraled back out of control.

2019 and my near death experience. At the beginning of 2019 i was so heavy i had no idea of knowing how big i was as i could not weight myself on any scales. My GP's scales could only go up to 200kg so i knew i was way over that. I had these strange pus filled bubbles all over my lower legs. They smelled really bad and were constantly leaking pus everywhere i walked. I decided I'd had enough and shortly after New Years 2019 i decided to go to the hospital to get them checked out. Just as i stepped out of the shower i slipped and fell on the tiled floor. I found myself unable to pick myself up off the floor. I lived with my elderly mother who was unable to help so she called a friend who lived down the road to come help. I was embarrassed. My mothers friend was also unable to help so they decided to call an ambulance to help. The ambulance crew came and were also unable to help me get up, so they eventually called a 2nd ambulance crew and the fire brigade who bought a special mattress kind of thing which they laid me down on and inflated which was able to finally get me upright. I spent the rest of January 2019 right up till the end of February 2019 in hospital going between ICU and the respiratory clinic. Remember my smoking i mentioned, well it seems it caused me severe lung issues which i now suffer from but its getting better albeit slowly though will never be the same again. In hospital i was in a special bed which they were able to weigh me finally. I was 237kg. That was my record all time highest weight. I was put on a fluid restriction and my weight was bought down to 192kg when i was finally released. I had quit smoking and also quit the soft drinks, i began loosing some weight finally and got down to 187kg. I was feeling good but then i met up with a friend who i hadn't seen for a while. This friend offered me a cigarette, i was clean for 4 months and silly me accepted his offer which again lead me to spiral down the path of cigarettes and soft drink.

September 2019 my mother and i went for a vacation to her home country to visit my eldest sister and relatives who live there. My bad habits got even worse. You see where i live, things like cigarettes and alcohol are quite expensive where as in my mother's home country it is cheap, VERY CHEAP. I saw how in expensive the prices were and boy i was like a kid in a candy store. My smoking increased from two packs a day up to 4 packets per day. That's 80 cigarettes plus. My throat irritation from the smoke came back two fold and to suppress that, again lots and lots of soft drink. That weird puss filled infection i had in my lower legs earlier, they came back too. 10th of October came around, once again i slipped and fell getting out of the shower. This time after a long struggle i was able to pick myself up and threw myself on my bed and wanted to sleep. My sister came over and saw my condition, forced me to get up and took me to the hospital. The last things i remember from that day are walking into the emergency department, being taken for an ultrasound of my heart, then having a chest x-ray and finally being told to lay down in a bed then i blacked out completely. I finally awoke 9 days later to find my self intubated, strapped to machines and my hands tied to the railings of the bed. I was told i was comatose for the previous 9 days and the reason for my hands being tied were i kept trying to rip out the intubation hose from my throat. They weighed me again in the hospital. I was up at 226kg. Not quite my all time highest of 237kg but still close enough. Again they restricted my fluids but this time they got my weight down to 187kg. When i left the hospital on November 1st i decided no more cigarettes. The soft drink i struggled with and still do.

2020-2022 NYE, my weight kept fluctuating, going between the high 170's to low 190's during the pandemic years. Just before the New Year i made myself a promise, that I'm finally going to do something about my weight. I weighed myself a couple of days before NYE and i was 172kg. Dec 31'st and Jan 1st i didn't weigh myself, however on Jan 2nd i did and i was 169kg and felt good. Its the first time in a very long time that I've seen my weight anywhere below the 170's, so i began to do some light exercises every morning. That brings me to today 6th Jan 2023, i weighed myself again and my weight was 166kg. Even just that that small weight loss of 3 kg made me so happy i could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I know it may not be good loosing big numbers fairly quickly and sometimes i may not loose anything at all but i hope to continue my journey to weight loss throughout this year. My goal for the time being is to get down to 150kg, then the step after that will be to get down to my weight i was when i first started working pre injury (120kg). I will continue my weight loss after i hit my two goals but after achieving my pre injury weight I'm not certain what weight i will choose to make my goal.

Also among my plans is to try to get out more and meet new people. My depression and weight gain and health issues has caused me to loose a lot of friends along the way which in turn makes my depression even worse. I feel quite lonely at times. Its been quite difficult at times.

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