Thursday, November 18, 2021

I physically and mentally cannot get a grip on starting my weight loss journey.

It has been a straight 4 months of me saying I’m going to get my shit together, go to the gym, eat healthier, cut out soda, live an active lifestyle, etc.

When I said this I was 285 lbs. I went on the scale today and saw that it is now 296. I’m a 5’4 woman and only 24 years old. I don’t know why my mind can’t seem to cope with the fact that this is dangerous. I’m in such a dark place that Just feel completely worthless. I don’t want to take care of my body because I don’t care. But I need to find a way to care and I need to find a way to start this weight loss journey. I just have no idea why I can’t stick with anything. I’ll eat a nice healthy, small portioned breakfast and lunch, then just binge at night. The cycle repeats it self. I’ll go to the gym one day then won’t show up again.

Someone please please please give any words of wisdom or guidance. I want to be healthy for my baby. I want to be healthy for myself. I want to feel beautiful. I don’t want to have trouble doing everyday basic things. I don’t want to be sweating all the time. I don’t want to avoid a mirror every single I time I walk by one.

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