This is a bit of a pity post I know but I just need to get this off my chest so here I go. As of Friday 9th August I was down to 18stone 4.5 pounds, an overall loss of 24.5 pounds which I was understandably very happy about. That day I flew to Scotland for a mini break for 5 days, partly to attend a wedding, partly just for touristy fun stuffs, 2 days Kirkcaldy, the rest Edinburgh.
Now I didn’t calorie count while away because I wanted to enjoy myself and not obsess over food or restric our activities and visits based on food, that being said, I don’t feel I went massively overboard with eating and we did A LOT of walking, every single day we were up and out from about 10am-8pm and most of that time was walking or standing. I ate Breakfast at the hotel of a morning (4 slices of brown bread toast and butter as they didn’t have much else I liked) and then dinner in the evening wherever we decided to eat out that day. I don’t eat starters or deserts when eating out as the portion sizes are generally bigger then I make at home so a main alone would fill me up and we only purchased snacks on 3 out of the 5 days and didn’t stop off for lunch any day so overall, I figured the 500% increase in walking and activity would balance out the breakfast calories that I don’t usually eat and I’d more or less maintain.
Well when we returned I felt positive because on the flight home the seatbelt was much easier to fasten, I still had it at the longest legth but I didn’t have to breathe right in and struggle to get it clipped up so I thought “Hey maybe I did lose weight after all!” but when I woke up at home the following day and weighed myself, heartbreak, 6 pounds gained, weight 18 stone 10.5 pounds. “No worries” I told myself, “It’s likely just water weight that will drop off in the next few days” but 5 days later I’m still sitting at 18 stone 10.5 pounds.
So now I feel like I never want to eat out or go on holiday again, like I absolutely cannot be trusted to eat “instictivly” and I’m struggling to settle back down into normal life and it’s just really got me down, I just needed to vent to people who will get it I guess. I’ve vented to my partner and my mum and they’re just like “it’s fine you lost it before, you’ll lose it again” but I don’t want to have to lose it again, I have a Thyroid disorder (diagnosed and medicated but not completely sorted as I’m at the top end of Thyroxine that they will prescribe me) and ARFID, between the two weight loss is already a struggle and it could take me 5-6 weeks to lose those 6 pounds again. I expected a 2-3 pound gain and I could’ve handled that but 6 pounds in 5 days has just broken me.
Anyway, if you made it this far thanks for listening to me rant.
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