Curious if anyone has thoughts here. I’ve been waiting my whole adult life to lean into finding a partner — waiting to get out of debt, for my career to be well-established, for my work-life balance to be better, and on and on — and haven’t been lucky enough to run across someone in the wild.
Now my instinct is to wait until I’ve lost weight to date… it’s so hard to imagine someone looking at my pictures — or me in real life — and actually seeing ME, not just a big lady. It’s certainly all I see when I look at myself. But it could take a year to get to a weight I’m happy with (if I succeed at all… which I’m hopeful about, but deeply afraid of being certain — itself perhaps fodder for another post on another day).
There are so many other parts of my life I’m happy with — really everything EXCEPT my weight — and finding a partner is very important to me. So I want to override my instinct to wait. One thing has become abundantly clear in recent years: life is too damned short. But I’m still just… afraid.
I suppose I’m not exactly sure what I’m looking for with this post… if anyone has met their person while heavier, I’d really love to hear some success stories. Or even tactics for meeting people, or how (or whether?) to acknowledge weight on these apps… my nightmare would be getting to a point of meeting and being rejected on the spot, but I also don’t imagine leading with “Hi I know I’m large but here’s my calorie deficit plan, TDEE calculation, peloton FTP, and current deadlift max!” is a great idea.
If it’s relevant, I’m a 30-something straight female.
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