I started my weight loss at 22nd June this year, since I’ve gained 12lbs from uni stress and boredom binges. I’m 5’5 (19F) and was at 158lbs when I started, which is the heaviest I’ve ever been, which is why my parents pestered me non stop to loose weight when I got home.
(If you want more background on my story or want to know some of the smaller details, feel free to look at my (only) two posts done on this topic on other subreddits)
At first I tried to ignore their comments and told myself I’ll do things healthily by doing more exercise weekly and cutting back on my portions. But when I was only loosing one pound during my first week, they started making more comments on me ‘not exercising enough’ (Though I jogged 4-5 days every week) or me having cheat foods (ie. having ice cream occasionally).
I was weak and couldn’t take their comments and let them get to me, so developed a habit for purging around the second or third week of my weight loss. I’ve purged whenever I can after meals, I’d purge at least once a day and would only rest when my throat started to hurt.
After my visit to home, I went back to uni and started going on calorie restriction (1200-1300 kcal max every weekdays), my purging has continued for the most of July. At the 22nd of July, I lost a total of 7lbs, but I wasn’t too happy because I still have body rolls, felt that I could’ve lost more and I’ve played dirty for this.
Just last week when my mom called me to check up on me (cause I had a councillor meeting but she didn’t like some of the things being said). When I mentioned I’ll be seeing a general practitioner soon and might get referred to a dietician (she doesn’t know about my purging), she started talking about my weight gain like it’s something ‘cute’ or ‘funny’, despite knowing I’ve lost 7lbs and has been continuing loosing since. I’ve had it, I snapped and yelled at her to shut up and I’ve been loosing consistently and that what she’s doing is making me potentially having an eating disorder. I then hung up on her and had a breakdown at 3 am.
I’m currently at 147-148lbs, still on calorie deficit, I run jog occasionally when the weather is good/ have free time and I’ve been taking fencing classes. I wish I could say I’ve completely stopped purging, but I’ve been doing it less frequently. I’ve went through a week without purging at the start of this month, but I purged twice last week and once today. And I still have a slightly unhealthy relationship with food, as I’d feel uneasy eating out without knowing the calories or I skip meals from time to time. I hope that I could get down to 144-145lbs by the 22nd.
I’ll be seeing my campus’s general practitioner soon to get checked on some other mental health problems and hopefully I could get referred to a dietitian for my eating problems and daily weigh in habits. As well as finding a more sustainable weight loss (and maintenance for the future) methods than calorie deficit.
I hope my story could serve as a warning to any of you who are also loosing weight but have some negativity around you at the same time. Please stay strong, don’t let people’s words get to you and PLEASE do things the healthy way. Do not end up like me, okay?
Best of luck to all of you trying to loose weight and trying your best! I hope everyone is doing things healthily and taking care of themselves properly!
Note: Please don’t attack my parents. They might seem ‘bad’ in my stories, but they do provide for me and are good people. They’re just a bit too obsessive about weight and insensitive to my feelings.
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