Friday, August 9, 2019

I'm finally comfortable with myself and it feels amazing.

Link to imgur album that has a lot of photos in it, from starting to literally today

All linked photos exist in that album

Comparison photos of 1/27/18 to 5/13/19 254-215 lbs

Side shot of the same comparison photo

This journey has been a very long one, I've fallen off the wagon and climbed back on more times then I can imagine.

I stepped on a scale weighing 290 lbs in May of 2012, got mad at myself and decided no more, I'm gonna beat this shit. Got a phyiscal, doctor gave me a diet that looking back on I HAAAAAATED. I'd eat 3 egg whites in the morning, some piddly salad for lunch, and then whatever for dinner.

It worked at first but I got sick of it, and eventually found my way to intermittent fasting which was my bread and butter. I was lifting, doing starting strength first then switched to stronglifts, eventually I slipped up and poor form on squats fucked me, I turned a squat into a good morning, immediately felt a pull in my lower back and was out of commission. Sprained my lumbar, literally had to pull myself to the side of my bed and pull myself over to roll over the next morning. This was my first slip I stopped working out, and eventually, stopped watching what I ate.

I'd hover between 230-255 between moments of "focus" and lapses

January 27th last year, I focused up big time, started with just cardio and intermittent fasting, but eventually I missed lifting, but had a mental block, I was really concerned about my form and not injuring myself again, so, I turned to a personal trainer. He had me on a custom program he made, originally I asked for 3 days lifting, full body, and i'd spend 3 days doing running. I eventually stress fractured my foot running, tweaked my lumbar, didn't focus on eating for a bit but came back out of it.

Switched up programs with him at the start of the year and saw more progress, still 3 day, still full body. till about May when I decided it was time to go solo, I didn't have that mental block for my form in place anymore, I went to /r/Fitness and looked up their programs, settled on a 4 day PHUL program, added Barbell Hip Thrusts to the power leg day but mainly I'm doing that program, and have recently added a custom ab circuit I do at the end of every day as well.

Cardio I'm playing around with but I've developed some foot issue, possibly plantar, so running is a no go for me, but have been occasionally doing stairs, I really want to do this more consistently to help me get over the final little bit.

The past month has been kind of nutty for me, I started a new job at a bar, a friend was there and somehow the weight loss got mentioned, one of the regulars there said I looked fit and was confused, I showed him a picture and I shit you not what he said touched me so deeply, I'll never forget it. He said "You look like one of those weight loss stories you always hear about but never meet". One of my coworkers and good buddies said he'd "Kill to be where I'm at" I'd never considered myself as GOALS for someone before.

Today I had to take this pic, the lighting was on point

I still have 18 lbs I want to lose

But suddenly, I like wearing dress shirts, I've been complimented like crazy lately, I've even gotten a number left for me on a credit card slip.

KEEP AT IT, if you fall off, climb back on, progress, not perfection, if I wanted perfection, I'd already be at my goal weight. I wouldn't have a weight loss graph that looks like THIS What started off as a weight loss journey sparked by self hatred and anger, has turned into falling in love with lifting, and falling in love with myself.

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