Today I messed up.
Normally, there is a go-to meal I have for lunch near my office. It’s ~360cal of chicken, beans, lettuce and pico. I’ve been having the same thing almost every day because it’s every bit as convenient as McDonald’s used to be (which was the main reason why I used to eat it) and it’s so low cal & high protein (40g). If I want more flavor and I have the calorie budget I can add a little cheese or sour cream. It works very well for me, I’ve been making good progress on my weight loss (with other changes too of course).
Today, due to a meeting around lunch time, I was not able to go to my normal lunch spot and I was getting hungry. I was going to just get a tuna wrap from downstairs. But they were out of tuna wraps, only had chicken salad wraps, and I didn’t want chicken salad.
Like freaking fate was tempting me or something, there was a goddamn food truck with brisket and Mac & cheese right outside my office.
So I ate it. I ate like 1,000 calories for lunch today, I don’t know the exact amount, I looked up each “piece” on MyFitnessPal and it came out to over 1,000. I didn’t finish the meal. I put it in the office fridge once I stopped being hungry and I’m probably going to throw it out.
I’ve already decided now what I’m having for dinner later. And I’ve decided now that after dinner if I’m hungry, I’m not going to have unhealthy snacks, only Greek yogurt.
And even if all I ate was dinner, I’m going to be 100cal above my limit for the day. But I’m not letting this become a “screw it” moment like before, where I’d make one mistake on calories and just binge for the rest of the day. I’m going to try to still eat at a small deficit, even if it’s not as much as normal today. I won’t punish myself by either starving myself or bingeing more. I’m just going to sit with this mistake and try not to let it affect my progress more than it has to.
I actually feel very shitty about myself at the moment. I was feeling so good about my weight loss earlier today. Hit a small milestone on the scale this morning that was almost definitely just a fluctuation but was still exciting. Then I had to go and mess up like this.
This won’t destroy my progress though. One bad lunch will not undo 4 weeks of weight loss. I won’t even eat above my maintenance later today and I’m going to try to keep a small deficit. And I’m posting this publicly to keep myself accountable, because I know that my calorie counting “fuck it” tendency is strong and that when I made one mistake my tendency is to go completely off the rails for the day. That’s not happening this time.
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