My weight loss is making my partner increasingly anxious and I have to hide it from her

Me and my current partner got together a year ago, and in the early stages of our relationship we ate out a lot and got a lot of takeaway. Our shared meals were almost always unhealthy. I wasn't happy with my body to begin with, and this "food honeymoon" phase of our relationship caused me to gain even more weight.

We moved in together a few months ago, and during this time I decided that I had to start losing weight and eating healthier, I was tired of feeling uncomfortable and anxious in my own skin. Me and my partner agreed to make a joint effort towards healthier eating habits, and we have been doing just that! The bad news is that my partner is unable to accept my weight loss goals and methods, and it's putting a big strain on us both.

My partner suffered from a severe eating disorder about a decade ago, and even though she has been completely healthy for years, the disorder has left her with mental scars. This means that anything relating to weight loss makes her anxious. I have tried to talk to her about my weight loss goals (losing about 20lbs/9kg) and my methods (intermittent fasting, calorie counting) to reassure her that I'm not being obsessive over my weight loss and that I can't be truly happy in my current body, but these conversations alone have been enough to send her into the verge of an anxiety attack.

My partner means the world to me and the last thing I want to do is to put her into anxiety-inducing situations. This means that I have started hiding my intermittent fasting (18:6 and 20:4 mostly), my weighings, my progress pic and measurement taking and my fitness goals from her. We live in a small apartment, work from home and share most of our meals together, which makes it very difficult. She has started to notice my skipped breakfasts, my smaller portions and the dessert foods I continuously refuse, and I can see this is making her worried and anxious. Not being able to share my journey with the love of my life is already hard, and attempting to hide it makes it even harder. I can't help but feel guilty most days.

Does anyone have similar stories? Advice? I don't really know if this situation can be resolved in a way that makes all parties happy, which is beyond depressing.

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