This started about a year ago. I was clinically obese and defeated, I felt lonely and ugly. One day I decided some things had to change. The next week I started boxing classes and the pounds started to melt.
Some months later I incorporated some weight training and running on a daily basis. Slowly but surely I got to where I am today. To my surprise, I can recognize I used to feel better about myself when I was heavier, I don't know if it's me being self conscious about my progress or what, but I guess I was expecting people to see me in a different light.
I have gotten little to no compliments, no encouragement to keep going, and even family members have told me I wouldn't look good if I lost the last 11lbs I want to lose because, apparently, my "frame is too wide for that weight".
Getting clothes that look good is still painfully difficult, and when someone tells me a certain tshirt looks great on me, I'll just feel like they're lying to make me feel better.
What's worse, I've been having liver pain recently, and if my weight loss ends up having anything to do with an underlying ilness, I'll probably feel worse about that, than the fact that I might be dying.
I'm also dealing with the fact that someone who is really important to me doesn't even seem to care about my existence anymore, and to top it all off, I have to study for two finals and I can't focus.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/jyJcKw5
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