I got on seroquel and honestly, it’s the best and worst thing that ever happens to me. I got on it during 2020 because my mental health took a giant nosedive along with the rest of the world. Before that, I had managed to lose 90 lbs. And then, while it seemed like all my friends and co-workers were losing weight, I was gaining. I ate everything in sight. I was hungry constantly.
It got to the point where my cholesterol was bad, my blood pressure was bad, they wanted to put me on a sleep apnea machine and honestly, I’m too young for that shit. So I put my foot down, got on the Found weight loss program, got on 1000mg of Metformin per day, and I dropped 10 lbs almost immediately. It finally pumped the breaks on my appetite. I’m starting to feel like I’m going in the right direction.
But lately I’ve been letting the intrusive thoughts win. “Even when you lose the weight, your body is going to look awful. You’ll have all that loose skin. You’ll need surgery… maybe you should just stay fat.” Or “So you’re going to try and fail for the umpteenth time? You know how sick your whole family is of you losing and then gaining weight? How many times are you going to disappoint them?” Stuff like that. It seems to come and go whenever I’m in a calorie deficit. I have more energy, my clothes are fitting better, I don’t know why my mind has to constantly sabotage me.
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